Why honouring anger &  rage is essential to a vibrant and healthy life, and what to do about it
I recently had an experience that had me confront some old and lingering anger and, quite frankly rage.
It was once shared with me that rage is a combination of anger mixed with fear. In this context, it made complete sense.
Rage and anger can come to give us clarity. They can show us our boundaries, they can clear the way for something truer, deeper, and needed.
The anger I experienced was a culmination of things. It wasn’t an event or something that happened in a moment, it was a slow but steady unpacking of old, unexpressed, frozen emotion accumulated over a lifetime of holding it.
I won’t go into the details, but my life growing up was both loving, supportive, and secure but also traumatic, unhealthy and one in which healthy communication and expression of emotions weren’t always modelled or encouraged.
Unfortunately, this has been the experience for so many women I know and work with.
Trauma gets stored when we don’t have the resources or the support to process or deal with it. Some traumas linger from our childhoods, some from our current day experiences.
They all need honouring.
They all need tending to.
So much of my work now revolves around tending to old and lingering emotions. I do this so that you are better able to fully express yourself and live in a more full and authentic way. One of the keys is understanding, honouring, and tending to these old wounds.
Anger isn’t something easily expressed or modelled for many women. Often repressed, silenced, dismissed or shamed, anger can be left untended to, and can have a significant impact on mental and physical health and well-being.
I see this so significantly in women around their cycle health, overall mood, and emotional landscape (often affecting anxiety, grief, and feelings of contentment). It can also have a significant impact at midlife as women enter the portal of peri-menopause and menopause.
Hormonal levels are impacted when we have a liver system storing unprocessed anger and resentments. This clogs things up and has a direct impact on your hormones, digestive health, and your body’s ability to filter toxins in addition to many other components to health.
Luckily, there is so much that can be done to work with this energy in a healthy and productive way.
How to Work with Anger
Acceptance
The first step is always to allow the anger to be there.
Anger is a healthy emotion and it is a guidepost to something deeper. When we deny it, hold it in or override it, we’re losing the opportunity to use its wisdom for change.
Find a Healthy Outlet
Secondly, it’s important to find a healthy expression for anger.
Blindly taking it out on others or venting it in places that aren’t actually related can be harmful and detrimental to both yourself and others on the receiving end of it. Taking time out if you’re able in the moment to gather yourself can be helpful if you’re able to catch it. Journaling, or expressing it in a healthy container such as with a therapist or trusted friend can also be helpful
Release it Physically.
Anger is powerful and potent energy and it is usually accompanied by a flood of chemicals in the body as well. Moving the energy with a physical practice can be helpful for dispersing the energy and calming your nervous system. Go for a run, a brisk walk, pound a pillow, scream into a pillow. The suggestion to throw ice cubes at a brick wall was given to me at one point (which can be hugely therapeutic if you haven’t tried btw!). You can also take your anger to the lake and pick up some stones and whip them into the water to get some of that energy OUT.
Find the Underlying Cause
And the most important thing with honour anger comes down to figuring out what is at the root of it for you. So much anger can stem from old unprocessed trauma or emotion from times or places where it wasn’t safe to express or your body went into a freeze response. There are always unmet needs or boundaries in the mix as well.
I love the work of Marshall Rosenberg and non-violent communication to help process and communicate what’s going on, but it certainly isn’t always easy!
I work with women to both understand but also heal and release unproductive and lingering anger in safe and healing ways.
If you’re interested in exploring more, book a discovery call with me any time to learn more about the work and programs I offer.
Anger can be a great ally when we understand its messages, and how to work with it in a healthful way.
Reach out to explore how to channel your rage and anger and use it to help generate a life that is free from old traumas and in alignment with what is most important to you and in the life you want to create.
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